Understanding care
Planning a sustainable break for a family caregiver
The person who provides most of the care in a family often goes without rest for months, sometimes years. Planned breaks aren't a luxury; they're what makes caring possible to keep up.
In many Ghanaian families, one person ends up carrying most of the care: often a daughter, a daughter-in-law, a spouse or a grandchild who lives nearby. Others help when they can, send money or call from abroad, but the daily work falls on one pair of hands.
Respite simply means a planned break for that person, while someone else looks after their relative. As the NHS puts it, a break lets carers take time out to look after themselves and helps stop them becoming exhausted and run down.
Signs a carer needs a break
It's easier to notice exhaustion in someone else than in yourself. Look out for:
- constant tiredness, poor sleep, or getting ill more often;
- feeling irritable, tearful, or as if you're always on edge;
- no time for your own work, health, faith or friends;
- putting off your own medical appointments;
- feeling guilty when you're not caring, and resentful when you are;
- small mistakes creeping in, such as forgotten medicines or missed meals.
These are not signs of failure. They're signs that the arrangement needs more support.
Kinds of breaks
| Kind of break | What it looks like | Good for |
|---|---|---|
| A few hours, regularly | A caregiver comes on set days for a morning or afternoon | Rest, errands, your own appointments, church or mosque |
| Regular days | Cover for one or two full days a week | Work, or a predictable day off |
| Overnight | Someone stays the night so you can sleep | Carers who are up several times a night |
| Longer cover | Live-in cover for days or weeks | Travel, a family event, your own illness or recovery |
A mix often works: a regular short break each week, and longer cover planned around important dates.
Planning ahead
The breaks that happen are usually the ones that are planned. Last-minute cover is harder to arrange and more unsettling for the person being cared for.
- Put breaks in the diary, even if they're short. A regular afternoon off protects the carer before exhaustion sets in.
- Plan around known dates: travel, funerals and family events, school holidays, festive seasons, work commitments.
- Book early. Respite is usually booked in advance; short-notice cover depends on who is available.
- Start small. If the person is anxious about someone new, a few short visits while the family carer is still at home can build trust before a longer break.
If the person you care for is anxious about a break
It's common for someone who relies on a family carer to feel worried when that person goes away, especially if they live with dementia or have been unwell. A few things often help:
- Talk about the break in advance, in simple terms, and repeat it closer to the time if needed.
- Introduce the replacement caregiver early, with one or two visits while you're still at home.
- Keep the routine the same: the same meal times, the same chair, the same radio programme.
- Leave familiar reminders, such as a photograph, a recorded message or a planned phone call at a set time.
- Reassure them that you're coming back, and when.
Some anxiety at first is normal and usually settles as the person gets to know the caregiver. If it doesn't, talk to the care team about adjusting the plan.
A good handover
The more the replacement carer knows, the less will change for the person, and the more you'll be able to switch off.
Write down, or tell the caregiver during a handover visit:
- the daily routine: when they wake, eat, wash, rest and go to bed;
- likes, dislikes and the small things that matter, such as a favourite cup, a radio programme, a prayer time;
- how they communicate, and what helps if they become upset;
- medicines and how they're managed (reminders, or given by a nurse);
- mobility, toileting and any equipment;
- who to contact, in what order, and when;
- what to do in an emergency, including the number to call: 112.
Making the most of the break
- Rest first. Many carers spend their break catching up on chores. Try to keep some of the time just for yourself.
- Look after your own health. Book the appointment you've been putting off.
- Agree how much contact you want. Some carers like a short update; others prefer not to hear anything unless it's important. Decide in advance.
- Notice how you feel afterwards. If one afternoon a week isn't enough, that's useful to know.
Sharing care across the family
Respite works well as part of a wider family plan. Relatives who live abroad, or further away in Ghana, can often help in ways that don't need them to be present: paying towards regular cover, booking and coordinating breaks, or calling the person at set times. Our guide to arranging care from abroad covers how families organise support from a distance.
How respite care works with Sehlam
Respite for family carers follows the same process as any other care: an assessment first, so we understand the person's needs and the family's routine, then a plan that you agree before the first break. Respite can include personal care, meals and company and conversation, and a nurse if clinical tasks are part of the routine.
Sources
- Carers' breaks and respite care, NHS (UK) (checked Invalid Date).
This guide is general information, not medical advice for a particular person. Talk to the person's doctor about their health, treatment and medicines.